Is it a
coincidence the HBO series, Sex and the City,
about a group of 30 something single women making their own way in the big
smoke, was so wildly successful? For a
woman beating her path in this decade, life throws up its decade-relevant
challenges (many of which you will read here in this blog – marriage, mortgage,
babies – or none of the above).
In my early 20s I
was a bit wild, yes; my mid to late 20s filled with ambition to learn
from industry’s best and carve out a formidable career in public relations.
Most people in
my clique back then were single, and those who weren’t, were just being
together, they weren’t getting married or having children. No big threat.
But my 30s – whoa – changes beyond my control across my family and friendship fold hit me (and my
fellow single friends also seeing it in their own lives) like a ton of bricks.
So you can
imagine the smile that formed on my face when my single friend, Justine, answered to my question: “What’s it like being 40?” “It’s a far cry better than being
in the shadow of it.”
Yes – 40. I began
dating a man only months from his 40th birthday and he had such a
meltdown over it that I realized then and there, there was no way I could be serious about a
person so narcissistic. Seriously – you’re giving THIS much thought to rolling
over a number? Give me a break (coincidentally he’s gone on to get married and
have a baby (as most past significant others have)).
Thank goodness
as the big 4-0 draws near for me (30 July), I shrug my shoulders and think –at
least it gives me a chance to see my dad, who will fly in from Melbourne, to
meet me in Las Vegas for a night of dinner and champagne.
Goodbye decade
of baby making friends muddled with a sense of dread and helplessness that I’m
not.
Which is
probably why I’ve ended up on the other side of the world – a journey I made on
my own – a little out of the ordinary at my age – without a partner, home or
job, but I knew I needed to change my circumstance and such change showed more
promise if it were major.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will
destroy you.” ― Gospel of Thomas
I’ve made do
with my situation and done the best of my independence. Justine tells me some may even envy us. How many our age can drop everything for a
decadent week of theatre, restaurants and hanging out in the city that never
sleeps?
Stability
however has called. It’s waved its hand from over the white picket fence and is
tempting me to settle for a more permanent life.
It’s a
complicated position to be in – because I know I crave this inevitably – but I also
know it won’t happen, or feel right, until I’ve met my match to give me reason.
The best advice I
was given this week – was to live life appropriate to you. Don’t worry what others think.
It may be an unconventional life in terms of
how society sees it – but it says more about them
than it does me.
Celebrate your life
and keep loving yourself – because through this means, it is likely all that is
desired will unfold as it should, as I allow the road to open up that is right for me.
Photo - Justine took my photo during interval at the opera Madama Butterfly, the MET, New York.
