When I had my two month sojourn in Sydney last November, an old Melbourne friend (who has recently moved from Canberra to the Emerald City), gave me the business card of a Chinese medical practitioner who works in my neighbourhood. My friend said I should see him if I had any health concerns.
I'm always open to giving things a go, if only once, so I went along and wrote in the "you are here because..." category "overall general health".
If we burrow down, I have problems with acne (mostly cleared up now thanks to a wonderful dermatologist who prescribed the ghastly drug - Roaccutane - it's a shocker, but I say the dermatologist is wonderful because overall I now have clear skin).
I also sought to see the Chinese doctor about weight control...at best I'm in the healthy weight range, but I am an apple shape and carry an extra tyre around my middle. It would be nice if I could find a simpler way to reduce my stomach fat than running three days a week and minimising my eating bordering on the hungry (which obviously I no longer do otherwise I wouldn't carry the three spare tyres).
So I went along to Dr (insert Christian first name and Chinese surname) and while he spoke English, it had a heavy Chinese lilt so this proved an immediate stumbling block in communication. I liked the basic premise however of what he said "you need more balance, too much heat - we will aim to regulate your hormones/emotions."
After checking my tongue and pulse (diagnosis weak "your outer presents as very strong, but it is fake - it is being fuelled by a fake fire") he gave me an acupuncture session and had his receptionist prepare herbs that I was to take twice a day.
Unlike many, I discovered I'm not a fan of acupuncture - my body is not keen on those needles in my legs, hands, wrists and stomach. After one week of taking the herbs, I went back to the doctor where he performed a second round of acupuncture on me and gave me more herbs.
On this visit he advised the pulse was better and my face "more glowing". Perhaps a recent trip to my beautician to have my eyebrows waxed and tinted and lashes tinted, as well as to the hairdresser to cover my greys, was the real reason for this apparent glow?
On my third visit I declared I was no better off, in fact, worse, I had been experiencing headaches (I am not a headache person at all) and noticed no difference in my wellbeing after taking the herbs.
He looked at me blank and said politely "perhaps Chinese medicine is not for you. Your body does not respond to Chinese medicine. It is not your time for Chinese medicine."
I had mentioned to a friend the evening before after yoga that it was my intention to "fire" the Chinese medicine man because there was no difference and acupuncture made me feel queasy. The amusing outcome to be was that we both fired each other.
He said "I'm sorry I could not help you. I did my best". Out I walked from his small room into the reception area and looked to her to pay - the doctor waivered the fee (thankfully) - and off I went.
Three days post visit I feel fine - no more headaches and while not bundles of it, more energy!
Slightly peculiar, but perhaps it takes a little exploration outside the norm to see the path you're on is the best place to be.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Looking for love? Your time starts now.
I went speed dating last week. In the spirit of giving it my best, I spent a large part of the week running around meeting beauty appointments. Suffice to say I showed up on the evening beautifully groomed (if you’ll allow me that) equipped with a positive attitude.
Fortunately I had acquired a partner in crime to attend as a safety net to fall back on in the mingling stages of the evening before the speed dating part kicked off.
Across a year in my usual day to day activities I would manage to go on - at best - two dates. This is through allowing the process to happen naturally; meeting them through a friend, at a pub, through work, etc. But yes, two dates per year on average.
By speeding things along (literally), my average skyrocketed to roughly 10 eligible men after one night.
The following day, I received an email from the organisers informing me that more than 70 per cent of the men I had met ticked 'yes' to seeing me again. Accordingly I had been awarded “Elite Member” status offering up discounts for future events.
A wise man once said I should continue to participate in activities I enjoy where the idea is I will meet my type through being at a place where I want to be. Sure, there may be many, many men at the cricket but why go to a Test when my pursuit is to watch the blokes and not the cricket? I’m realistic, if I’m to date a cricket fan, the day I meet him on ground won’t be my last day match to endure. So I’ve stuck to activities that interest me and I’ve attended music concerts, plays, operas, the ballet, brunch at favourite cafes, worked out at the gym, running the lake, yoga and.... not much.
I do think there’s merit in meeting potential matches through friends, this indeed is my preferred, so committed to it that last year I threw a heap of my own cash to devise a ‘six degrees of separation’ party (aforementioned in this blog). It worked to an extent – the super hero came to the party and I had met him through a friend (super hero mentioned also earlier in this blog).
It’s so easy to hide from the world – and so hard to meet a man who a) is available and b) rocks my world (and more importantly, as I tend to find falling into unrequited lust scenarios more frequently than not) you theirs.
The speed dating is great; it gets me out there, talking and meeting the boys. But after all those ticks to say yes to someone I probably wouldn’t consider in a real world scenario; and walking home with face ache from forced smiling all evening, am I any closer to meeting the match for me? I have a hunch not.
The matches are emailing me now for dates.
Date all of them on the proviso that love grows and finding the one for me could be as they say, a numbers' game? Or do I follow the wise man’s words and continue to go about my usual way, in the good faith that one day, perhaps, I won’t have to rely on the girl holding the stop watch to send the next man forward. He’ll just be there.
Fortunately I had acquired a partner in crime to attend as a safety net to fall back on in the mingling stages of the evening before the speed dating part kicked off.
Across a year in my usual day to day activities I would manage to go on - at best - two dates. This is through allowing the process to happen naturally; meeting them through a friend, at a pub, through work, etc. But yes, two dates per year on average.
By speeding things along (literally), my average skyrocketed to roughly 10 eligible men after one night.
The following day, I received an email from the organisers informing me that more than 70 per cent of the men I had met ticked 'yes' to seeing me again. Accordingly I had been awarded “Elite Member” status offering up discounts for future events.
A wise man once said I should continue to participate in activities I enjoy where the idea is I will meet my type through being at a place where I want to be. Sure, there may be many, many men at the cricket but why go to a Test when my pursuit is to watch the blokes and not the cricket? I’m realistic, if I’m to date a cricket fan, the day I meet him on ground won’t be my last day match to endure. So I’ve stuck to activities that interest me and I’ve attended music concerts, plays, operas, the ballet, brunch at favourite cafes, worked out at the gym, running the lake, yoga and.... not much.
I do think there’s merit in meeting potential matches through friends, this indeed is my preferred, so committed to it that last year I threw a heap of my own cash to devise a ‘six degrees of separation’ party (aforementioned in this blog). It worked to an extent – the super hero came to the party and I had met him through a friend (super hero mentioned also earlier in this blog).
It’s so easy to hide from the world – and so hard to meet a man who a) is available and b) rocks my world (and more importantly, as I tend to find falling into unrequited lust scenarios more frequently than not) you theirs.
The speed dating is great; it gets me out there, talking and meeting the boys. But after all those ticks to say yes to someone I probably wouldn’t consider in a real world scenario; and walking home with face ache from forced smiling all evening, am I any closer to meeting the match for me? I have a hunch not.
The matches are emailing me now for dates.
Date all of them on the proviso that love grows and finding the one for me could be as they say, a numbers' game? Or do I follow the wise man’s words and continue to go about my usual way, in the good faith that one day, perhaps, I won’t have to rely on the girl holding the stop watch to send the next man forward. He’ll just be there.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
When you lose your single buddies
OK - out and proud. I have a boisterous personality and can at times be a bit of a bully. Read: loud and demanding.
As such, I've noticed the older I get the harder it is to befriend new people my own age (yet the Gen Ys are much more open to bombastic women in their mid 30s).
Case in point; when I threw a party late last year designed especially for singles to mingle, a few fellow 30 something single women came on board my bandwagon.
However, like an itch desperate to be scratched, I kinda knew the relationship with these newfound bosom buddies would be shortlived. And it was.
Here's the thing. The friends I have and that have endured their friendships with me (for more than 10 years), know that under all the perceived external 'bluntness' there is a sensitive, caring and kind person beneath. They value my friendship and I know through the ups and downs, we're in it for the long haul.
However, new women in their mid 30s who enter my life aren't so loyal.
And thus stands my dilemma.
I am 36 and single, my best friends are around the same age, coupled up and most have children. Or they're gay (men). As you will see from previous posts - I've even taken to caring for these said children on occasion, as mummy practice and of course, so I can keep my friendships strong with my valued few.
But by spending more and more time with my mates who have husbands/partners and kids, I'm not doing so much to create their life for myself. And this plays on me.
Unfortunately, the single women out there in my age group don't 'get' me well enough to stick around (nor for me to want them to). Like I said, the Gen Ys are terrific, but again, my best friend in the Gen Y bracket (who's 27) is herself coupled up.
I guess also, if I were to go out on the town with her, the men we would attract would not be right for me. This girlfriend looks like Jessica Alba and in fact when she was on a path in her early 20s to pursue acting - her agent said "we already have your look - it's Jessica Alba". For Melbourne people, my friend is a dead ringer for Rebecca Twigley. And Rebecca Twigley just got married. My point: the Gen Ys are also coupled and married!
I've watched with interest how my celebrity (single) peers are behaving - Jen Aniston is my favourite to watch, and unfortunately she just keeps going for the younger guys because q frankly (I believe this is why) she has a hot bod and has kept herself looking smokin'. Why would she want a 45 - 50 year old when she can get a 30 year old? Problem is, the younger age bracket of men are unlikely to stick it out with her when they can get Taylor Swift (who 30 year old Jake Gyllenhaal bagged).
Then Kate Winslet rebounded with her younger personal trainer - hot, but I read she's split from him too. Cameron Diaz is just plain embarrassing - a serial monogamist who repeatedly gets them but doesn't keep them - surely Matt Dillon, Cam?
Now Cam's on with A-Rod, Madonna's sloppy seconds. Downward slope.
Sandra Bullock thought she'd met her match and we know what happened there, Reese Witherspoon will hopefully experience a happy ending after her recent engagement, but it took her some time to move on from her broken marriage and rebound relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal.
And then the dazzling Liz Hurley pashing on with serial womaniser Shane Warne and (Australian model) 35 year old Megan Gale just keeps getting them younger and younger (all power to her, but if she thinks for a second her 22 year old footballer will bring her what 29 year old Andy Lee couldn't, she's going down Kylie Minogue's path (ie gets them young and then younger - while she keeps getting older. Tick tock, tick tock).
It's a disappointing world we live in this difficult dating palaver and even more so when I spend my evenings at home (yes, resorted to internet dating this week) because I lack single, 30 something girlfriends to go on the town with - the old fashioned way to meet men!
It's all a bit, god forbid, can I say? Depressing.
They say, put yourself out there (remember Sex and the City and Charlotte?) so here I am online throwing it to the universe. If there are any single, attractive men (over 5'11 and above 33 years) willing to swoon me, feel free to make contact! wink, wink. If I'm not at home (online trawling through the maze of men seeking to date 20 something, slim women) I'll be at my married girlfriend's house as the 'plus 1' for their family dinner.
As such, I've noticed the older I get the harder it is to befriend new people my own age (yet the Gen Ys are much more open to bombastic women in their mid 30s).
Case in point; when I threw a party late last year designed especially for singles to mingle, a few fellow 30 something single women came on board my bandwagon.
However, like an itch desperate to be scratched, I kinda knew the relationship with these newfound bosom buddies would be shortlived. And it was.
Here's the thing. The friends I have and that have endured their friendships with me (for more than 10 years), know that under all the perceived external 'bluntness' there is a sensitive, caring and kind person beneath. They value my friendship and I know through the ups and downs, we're in it for the long haul.
However, new women in their mid 30s who enter my life aren't so loyal.
And thus stands my dilemma.
I am 36 and single, my best friends are around the same age, coupled up and most have children. Or they're gay (men). As you will see from previous posts - I've even taken to caring for these said children on occasion, as mummy practice and of course, so I can keep my friendships strong with my valued few.
But by spending more and more time with my mates who have husbands/partners and kids, I'm not doing so much to create their life for myself. And this plays on me.
Unfortunately, the single women out there in my age group don't 'get' me well enough to stick around (nor for me to want them to). Like I said, the Gen Ys are terrific, but again, my best friend in the Gen Y bracket (who's 27) is herself coupled up.
I guess also, if I were to go out on the town with her, the men we would attract would not be right for me. This girlfriend looks like Jessica Alba and in fact when she was on a path in her early 20s to pursue acting - her agent said "we already have your look - it's Jessica Alba". For Melbourne people, my friend is a dead ringer for Rebecca Twigley. And Rebecca Twigley just got married. My point: the Gen Ys are also coupled and married!
I've watched with interest how my celebrity (single) peers are behaving - Jen Aniston is my favourite to watch, and unfortunately she just keeps going for the younger guys because q frankly (I believe this is why) she has a hot bod and has kept herself looking smokin'. Why would she want a 45 - 50 year old when she can get a 30 year old? Problem is, the younger age bracket of men are unlikely to stick it out with her when they can get Taylor Swift (who 30 year old Jake Gyllenhaal bagged).
Then Kate Winslet rebounded with her younger personal trainer - hot, but I read she's split from him too. Cameron Diaz is just plain embarrassing - a serial monogamist who repeatedly gets them but doesn't keep them - surely Matt Dillon, Cam?
Now Cam's on with A-Rod, Madonna's sloppy seconds. Downward slope.
Sandra Bullock thought she'd met her match and we know what happened there, Reese Witherspoon will hopefully experience a happy ending after her recent engagement, but it took her some time to move on from her broken marriage and rebound relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal.
And then the dazzling Liz Hurley pashing on with serial womaniser Shane Warne and (Australian model) 35 year old Megan Gale just keeps getting them younger and younger (all power to her, but if she thinks for a second her 22 year old footballer will bring her what 29 year old Andy Lee couldn't, she's going down Kylie Minogue's path (ie gets them young and then younger - while she keeps getting older. Tick tock, tick tock).
It's a disappointing world we live in this difficult dating palaver and even more so when I spend my evenings at home (yes, resorted to internet dating this week) because I lack single, 30 something girlfriends to go on the town with - the old fashioned way to meet men!
It's all a bit, god forbid, can I say? Depressing.
They say, put yourself out there (remember Sex and the City and Charlotte?) so here I am online throwing it to the universe. If there are any single, attractive men (over 5'11 and above 33 years) willing to swoon me, feel free to make contact! wink, wink. If I'm not at home (online trawling through the maze of men seeking to date 20 something, slim women) I'll be at my married girlfriend's house as the 'plus 1' for their family dinner.
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