Chasing for connection

Responding to an article I read about single people actually being the less lonely:

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/07/case-against-marriage/591973/

This article rang true for me - when I am single, I am constantly out there seeking connection, and quite frankly this process can be exhausting. Sure, you’re meeting many ‘new faces’ and making your own fun - but inevitably, for me, having a good partner means I can kick back and relax, knowing that I have some easy company without chasing it. But yes, this process too can be lonely - as the article suggests. Because it can then become all about the partner. Just you and the partner. And sometimes, just about you because the partner is busy - or needs time out. I know I can rely on my partner to “show up” and thus I don’t take the risk on having others “show up” too. It’s time efficiency. So yes, I can see how ironically single people are not the lonely ones - but many of us in this single state would prefer not to have to go to such lengths just to be that way.

Yoga, yoga it becomes your life!

I never met Maty, but she was one of the practitioners in the primary series youtube videos I used to watch for Ashtanga yoga home practice, and so I took an interest in her thereafter. She had a profound impact on the LA yoga scene and the community here is in mourning. Glad to see the New York Times and LA Times has acknowledged her significant role in raising the profile of yoga’s benefits to the West.

New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/17/health/maty-ezraty-dead.amp.html#click=https://t.co/ywKbTh4dNE

LA Times: https://www.latimes.com/obituaries/story/2019-07-19/maty-ezraty-yoga-instructor-dead

The years keep rollicking by

Responding to this Modern Love article I read today: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/19/style/modern-love-egg-freezing-fertility.html#click=https://t.co/XmFxOZ4YOK


My experience losing my mother at 21 (five days shy of turning 22) - resulting in being emotionally damaged in my 20s carried into my 30s (not good for healthy romantic relationships) - and not having a sister (sisters make good aunts 😊) lessened my desire to procreate. Raising kids is hard and relentless - it takes a village they say; and I did not have the ideal support group. So when the wrong men wanted children with me - I chose to keep striving forward for a better match. Then I turned 37 and thought - well, I’ll look into egg freezing. And I did (look into it but for similar reasons that this article describes of the outcomes - did not pursue). The fertility specialist recommended giving up the baby dream at 42. I turn 45 this month. It’s an interesting one - so long as a healthy woman is fertile, you always have children on the mind (and in body) as a consideration. Until you don’t. So I guess my message is this - for women you know who don’t, or didn’t have children, it does not mean at some point or for a lot of those points - she considered it, and perhaps the reason she didn’t is just that life circumstance was not on her side.

I wrote on this blog in 2011 about seeing an egg fertility specialist: https://ordinarypeopleeverydaythings.blogspot.com/2011/08/ill-take-my-eggs-frozen.html