As those close to me are aware (and some not so close
– my ‘open book’ nature revealed), I had a series of knocks in my
life last year including two significant romantic blows.
Significant, in that the courtships' demise hit
me hard and I spent too long processing the circumstances and more time again
feeling sad.
Suffice to say I have been on my own more often than not – my married brother says: “you do single well,” but
of course it’s human nature for us to want more.
And during these long phases of singledom, or when love’s warmth turns cold, I find one of the best
tonics for my emotional well-being is to seek the company of men.
It’s not what you think. I'm not talking rebound, I'm referring to male friendship.
Among my network, I have young male
friends; past work colleagues where we continue to support one
another in our respective careers; married men – older married men; gay men – the full
gamut who have added tremendous support, vitality
and colour to my being and especially when the chips are down in the love stakes.
It makes it all the more sweeter when often
the qualities I like in these friendships double for those I value in my romantic
partnerships. None of my male friends would
qualify as macho - they are kind and caring, make excellent
listeners and are good communicators. We
banter on facebook, grab a coffee or drink, and laugh.
It used to be I’d interact with males in a
social context only when they were the boyfriend of my better
female friend. But the advent of facebook, and I guess age, seems to have opened the door for me to develop deeper male friendships.
My friend Adrian from Seattle said: “When
one cool person finds another cool person, they should hang together.”
Sisterhood has always been important to
me, the camaraderie between female-to-female creates a terrific support structure, but
there is something about bonding with males.
So next time you get dumped by Romeo or
have to reluctantly ‘let go’ of your non-committal, he’s just not that into you love paramour – do what I do and lean
on men.
It’s a great lesson that men and woman can be friends despite years of me believing
Harry moreover Sally.
Obviously, I’d been missing out.
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1. The dapper Spanish men I met in Oslo,
Norway on my September trip.
2. During my 2013 travels in India I shared
many laughs with the witty and razor sharp local men.
3. When I asked the server for water,
one of the men I met in this French group during CES in Las Vegas insisted she bring us
champagne. "Champagne is 'French water'," he said.
