Not over him?­ My advice is to let other men in.

As those close to me are aware (and some not so close – my ‘open book’ nature revealed), I had a series of knocks in my life last year including two significant romantic blows.  

Significant, in that the courtships' demise hit me hard and I spent too long processing the circumstances and more time again feeling sad.

Suffice to say I have been on my own more often than not – my married brother says: “you do single well,” but of course it’s human nature for us to want more.

And during these long phases of singledom, or when love’s warmth turns cold, I find one of the best tonics for my emotional well-being is to seek the company of men.

It’s not what you think.  I'm not talking rebound, I'm referring to male friendship.

Among my network, I have young male friends; past work colleagues where we continue to support one another in our respective careers; married men – older married men; gay men – the full gamut who have added tremendous support, vitality and colour to my being and especially when the chips are down in the love stakes.

It makes it all the more sweeter when often the qualities I like in these friendships double for those I value in my romantic partnerships.  None of my male friends would qualify as macho - they are kind and caring, make excellent listeners and are good communicators.  We banter on facebook, grab a coffee or drink, and laugh.

It used to be I’d interact with males in a social context only when they were the boyfriend of my better female friend. But the advent of facebook, and I guess age, seems to have opened the door for me to develop deeper male friendships. 

My friend Adrian from Seattle said: “When one cool person finds another cool person, they should hang together.”

Sisterhood has always been important to me, the camaraderie between female-to-female creates a terrific support structure, but there is something about bonding with males.

So next time you get dumped by Romeo or have to reluctantly ‘let go’ of your non-committal, he’s just not that into you love paramour – do what I do and lean on men.

It’s a great lesson that men and woman can be friends despite years of me believing Harry moreover Sally. 

Obviously, I’d been missing out.

Photos:

1. The dapper Spanish men I met in Oslo, Norway on my September trip.

2. During my 2013 travels in India I shared many laughs with the witty and razor sharp local men.

3. When I asked the server for water, one of the men I met in this French group during CES in Las Vegas insisted she bring us champagne.  "Champagne is 'French water'," he said.