As a woman who fancied her career path to either take to the stage, or the pen (ie journalist), I'm one who likes to take an active interest in (almost inhabit) other people's lives - their thoughts and feelings - get the insights and know-how to what they're all about. A woman's sixth sense digs deep.
Don't throw stones at people in glass houses. I am renowned as an eternal foot in mouth girl, blunt, constantly offending or upsetting people, but it's been in surrounding myself with a wise and socially aware crowd, that I feel in my dirty 30s ;-) I'm finally coming around. I centre myself on peace (achievement with help in partnership from those aforementioned). While certainly flawed, I try to be well meaning in action and intention, and believe I'm getting there....almost.
An inheriently social person, in moments of solitude and perhaps in the name of nostalgia, I'll find myself....snooping.
Checking out facebook profiles, googling the internet for signs of 'where are they now?' - the people I've burned (or they've burned me), grown apart from, let go, broken up with or simply lost track of.
By prying into the ghosts of the past I am glimpsing a piece of what was to what is today - and it's quite intoxicating - detective like. With this folly, old friends or lovers, become yours again when their photo smiles back at you in albums posted and their voice is heard through wall post entries.
For weeks post a breakup I would intermittenly check the facebook profile of a society ex girlfriend of his - I liked to see her latest photos - check out what she was wearing, doing, observe through the privacy of my own home and safe screen divider, how her life was panning out post him. In my eyes, we were the road kill of a shared but defunct relationship with a fallen prince. With the dulls of heartache lifted, so has the spell of cyber courting her, he's gone and she no longer rates on my radar of concern....although I do someday think I would like to meet her in real life. There I go again. It shouldn't matter because when you move on from past loves so do you move on from the insecurity of having their ex-girlfriends live somewhere there in your psyche.
And just like ex loves, the ex girlfriends, broken friendships, and lost acquaintances are probably best left in the reality of the past not to be revisited -as tempting as it is with one click of the mouse.
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My attempt is to reflect and capture everyday things in my life. Often simple is best and being ordinary sits just fine. That's not to say it's fun and fabulous to be around famous or infamous people. I find it an alluring tonic to get outside my surroundings every now and then. Find new perspective and keep things fresh.
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About Me
- CAZI
- Big heart, loud girl who stands on her own two feet, striving to do it Scarlett O'Hara style (...Scarlett did it sassy long before Carrie Bradshaw folks). Of course, I "have a little help from my friends" and would struggle to do it without the unconditional love and support from my four legged friend, Walter, the 17 year old Shetland Sheepdog, as well as family and pals of the two legged kind.