The search

We all seem to be searching for something. Obviously it’s age-old and part of the human condition.

There are those searching for a partner for love and/or to begin a family; and there are material collectables many are seeking to acquire - a better home, a car - and the need for a well paid job to achieve it all.

Always searching, searching, searching.

Last night I met a 41 year old woman not dissimilar in looks to Kylie Minogue. One might jump to the conclusion that such a sweet, pretty person might largely be satisfied with her lot. But scratch the surface and I uncovered there was a lot of searching going on inside.

This lady – let’s call her Kylie – wanted to attract the right man in her life and the process she was undertaking to achieve this left me leaning in to hear more. I’ve heard close friends talk like this – but as a relative stranger, Kylie was brave enough to share it with me right off the bat.

She kept a ‘grateful diary’ and would list daily occurrences she was grateful for. Along with the grateful diary, Kylie had prepared a checklist of the qualities she wanted in her future partner. Mixing the two (the grateful diary and her most eligible bachelor checklist) she would read it aloud and in doing so, hoped to manifest both – a grateful life and a wonderful man.

I can only support her that the universe answers this call. Add to that "I'll have what she's having." (When Harry Met Sally)

And me - I shared with Kylie my search for the right place to be with God.

Kylie offered that she was a spiritual person, she too like me had attended a religious style school, but she took a more open approach to God – ie God is any God – not just a Christian one. Of course - I agreed.

My relationship with the church started young and as a school boarder from years 8 – 10 in Adelaide, it was routine to attend church on Sundays. We would kit out in our Sunday best - school uniform, hat and gloves and the School Principal would walk around the dining hall to inspect everyone before we were allowed to board the bus.

Our shoes had to be perfectly polished and hair tied back neatly and if they weren’t – we would be sent back to our rooms to rectify the situation.

When my parents relocated from Alice Springs to Melbourne (and I left boarding school to live with them) my mother, living with cancer, found solace in the church. So every now and then I joined her.

When travelling Europe for the first time, I visited some of the most beautiful churches and remember sitting in one in Brussels feeling a firm sense of peace. It was here – in a church – where I felt closest to God.

So it makes sense that I've continued to step into a church from time to time. But sadly, at 37 years old and single, church attendance doesn’t quite fit.

I know Melbourne’s churches would LOVE to have younger people join their congregation and it’s not an uncommon story dwindling attendance requires a boost in new blood, but church going remains predominantly a blue-rinsed affair.

I’m not seeking to be a ‘happy clapper’ born again Christian, Hillsong devotee, or new-aged Buddhist – all of which do tend to attract a younger demographic. But sometimes I just want to sit in a pew with God. And it frustrates me - hard, wooden seating aside - that I don’t feel I comfortably can.

So perhaps a meditation class will be my happy medium.

I mentioned this to Kylie and again she surprised me. She too had searched for a good meditation class and was able to recommend a place in Caulfield for me to try.

Meditation is not quite going to meet my need to revisit the Brussels' church experience; but neither is going to my local church sitting next to a group of oldies keen to latch onto me on a Sunday. I know community meditation is an experience I’m destined to try.

And there’s one certainty about searching. It never stops.